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How Do You Deal With Toxic Friends???
by sugarburn @ 2007-06-13 - 23:27:56

A friend off the net I was MSNing with the other day is who propelled me to write this burning question. He's got a major toxic friend problem (this toxic friend requires cash... often.). I've had a bunch of toxic friends. They suck the very soul out of you every opportunity they get; but they are very hard to get rid of. The really successful toxic friend makes you feel sorry for them, trapping you to them because you don't want to dump them and make them any more patheticlly sad. SOme cut you off from your other friends before showing their true colours so that you don't have anyone to run to if you ditch them. Some you are just too scared of their reaction to get rid of them: you'd like your car to remain un-keyed, thank you.
Its very important to not bow to the pressure applied by these parisites. I know it sounds harsh, but you have to put yourself first: toxic friends can drain your self-esteem, your social life, your self-worth, your energy, your fridge, and your bank account. You are worth more than to be someone else's crutch.
Does anyone have any tips or stories about toxic friends and how to get rid of them????

8 comments | Permalink | Recommend this post
Tags: toxic friends,

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sweetladyjanesweetladyjane pro
13/06/07 @ 23:29

This is how I deal with them. I detox and move on.

The_WalrusThe_Walrus [Member]
http://www.doctor-dark.co.uk
13/06/07 @ 23:36

Be nicer to them than they deserve. That usually does it.

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sugarburnsugarburn [Member]
15/06/07 @ 01:31

I usually find that that's a lot like giving an inch because they will happily take a mile... and all your food. lol But if it works for you, I'm glad... you just may be a stronger person than me... so good on you. :)
Thanks for commenting!

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subvillesubville pro
http://subville.blog.co.uk/
21/06/07 @ 23:09

This is my pet peeve too. I've almost gotten rid of them all but, as you say, it's pretty difficult because of the social structure. My son cops it when I try to cut free, and I get bad-mouthed all over town (assumptions, and downright lies) xx

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sugarburnsugarburn [Member]
22/06/07 @ 00:34

I understand completely. I broke off a friendship recently with a toxic friend after he blogged something nasty about myself and my fiancee. I had been taking a break from our friendship as I was having trouble dealing with things he had done to me. I would have returned to the friendship had he not insulted my fiancee (one of many many times he has done so, but this time was worse). I wouldn't have stood up for myself, but I did stand up for him. I should have done it long ago, because anyone who can hurt you that much and not give a damn is not your friend.
I am really sorry to hear that your son is getting caught up in the crap this person is pulling. People really can make life awful. I hope you both come out of it ok, its never easy.
Thanks for the comment, sorry you got a tome of a reply, guess I needed to vent it lol,
Loni

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subvillesubville pro
http://subville.blog.co.uk/
22/06/07 @ 00:42

No need for apologies, honestly. It's a 'big issue' for me too and has been for a while. In fact I blogged a private post about it recently :))

My son gets caught up in it when 'her' two kids decide not to speak to him at school and he's baffled by it ... not having a clue why folk do that kinda thing. He understands more than I realised now. Still finds it difficult to let say no to the friendship even though it's bad for him. Also her eldest is his cousin :roll:

*scream*

:D x

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sugarburnsugarburn [Member]
23/06/07 @ 02:12

Ahhhh.... right. When relitives are involved, it's even harder. Can't you choose your family... unfortunatly xx(
My dad's daughters are all around my mum's age and they strongly objected to mum and dad's marraige. So I copped the flack not only from my 'sisters' but from their kids as well. So much fun lol.
So I probably understand how your son is feeling; its really hard when you're little and people do things to you for apparently no reason. Especially when it's family, because you feel like they are the people who are meant to like you and when they yo-yo with you (being friendly off and on) its very confusing.
I hope he comes through ok, it took me 16 years to ignor them and give as good as I got. Its satisfying now to give them the big f-u. lol

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Georgia [Visitor]

08/08/08 @ 21:47

My friend always try to blame everything on me especially if it was her that did or said it and its hard to ditch her beacause se can be so nice 2 me nd she doesnt do it 2 all my other friends so its really hard for them to no what i mean when i say she is horrible to me so if i ditch her then im gonna be ditching my other friends!

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